Tuesday, July 28, 2015
My day consists of unpacking, furniture arranging, decorating, cleaning, running errands, and checking Facebook frequently to see what my friends and kids are up to, so I don't feel so disconnected from the people who mean so much to me. It's a weird feeling, being older and starting over. Moving was so much easier mentally and physically when I was younger. I had the illusion of immortality when I was younger. I didn't think when I moved, "this may be the last time I see this person." This time though, I had to acknowledge that was a possibility. The realization that now that I was gone, friends would find someone else to fill my absence. That's as it should be, but it felt more like the end of an era when I moved this time. This moment, these relationships, will never come again. It's also another phase for me as a parent. My kids gave me a good trial run when they both left the country to travel to other places. It made me realize in a very real sense, they were their own people, living their own lives, that no longer included touching base with me on a daily basis. Now that I have moved away, I have to look at their daily lives from a distance, see what they're doing, who they're spending time with, and what experiences they're having that is making them the people they will become.
Min is still doing circus training, only local now. She models for spending money on occasion while also working on her wedding plans. I love this child's eyes!
B is still living the carefree life of an unencumbered, single, twenty-something, staying up late, playing video games, hanging out with his buddies. I'm still waiting for him to grow up. ;-). I love his sense of humor and his quick mind.
I miss them both. I miss my friends, but I'm very busy trying to get the house in order so I can focus on the on-line class I'm doing for the university I left behind, and trying to find other work here, trying to find my new normal and get into a new routine. I'm glad we made this move, took this chance, but it is an eye-opener how different moving is when you're older, as opposed to when you're younger.
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
I spent so many weeks de-cluttering, cleaning, packing, organizing, just to be ready for the big move. Then we get to our new home and I begin unpacking furiously, moving furniture, getting new drivers' licenses, insurance, organizing our new place, only to stop everything abruptly to go on a previously scheduled family vacation. Now I'm back home, still unpacking, meeting with fence companies, shopping for supplies, random furniture pieces, and I need to find all the cords to our desktop computer so I can finish prepping for an on-line class I'm doing for the Fall, get out a letter of recommendation, and resumes for the continued job hunt. The dog is back from a two week dog training camp, and I still don't have my head on straight. Every day I write a list for things that need to be done, work my way through most of the items on the list, then the next morning I start the process all over again. I want to just sit and do nothing, but I don't know how long I'll have, to get everything organized before I go back to work, so I push through, try to get everything organized and done before the luxury of time is taken away from me. Here's a quick tranquility break, pictures from our recent trip to Maine, then back to work!
Dolores O'Riordan - http://www.bbc.com/news/entertainment-arts-42696376
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