Wednesday, September 11, 2019

Wedding day

Well, it’s done, my last child is now married. It was such a sweet and beautiful ceremony, and such a loving and joyous reception. My son and his new wife have such a great group of friends. They come from all over the world and many different backgrounds. They all skipped work for the day, to attend this wedding on a Monday at mid-day. There were over 100 people in attendance. There was no alcohol but that didn’t even impact the dancing and playfulness of these kids, young adults. I’ve never danced so much in my life, or smiled, or cried so much all in the same day.

My new daughter-in-law is the sweetest, smartest person my son has ever met. I couldn’t have chosen a better partner for him. I hope they have a very long, happy life together.

Wednesday, August 14, 2019

Goodbye Norb





This is Norb, College Professor of Philosophy, mentor, friend, father figure, Director of an Honors College that was his incubator for his collection of people with possibilities.

Norb changed my life.  He changed the lives of the thousands  of students he taught, came into contact with, chose, to be part of his experiment to challenge the tragically gifted.  ðŸ˜‰

He was at times fatherly, stern, a cheerleader, a mirror.  He created an environment that nurtured learning.  He challenged us all to become all that he believed we could be.

He challenged us to confront “the other” in our fellow students, in our studies, our communities, and ourselves.  He introduced us to philosophers, complex ideas, other religions,  topics we might never have encountered in our home lives.



He was a kind and decent man.  He was a wise and generous man.  He was an active learner all his life.  He was involved with his family, his community, and his country.  He achieved "arete" in his life.  Most of us will never encounter and never know, a person so singularly good and complete as human beings go.  He even grew his own food, shared it with others, and was environmentally conscious at the beginning of that movement and throughout his life.  He took his students to Meadowcreek, a learning community for environmentally sustainable living.






My time in his presence was short, just as he warned it would be at his opening address at the beginning of our four years with him.  I was among the lucky ones to garner three extra years under his tutelage as a graduate assistant to the Honors College.  So I also knew him as a boss, if that term in all its confines could ever apply to him or do him justice.  I never had a boss like him before or since.  Nothing was impossible, there was only the effort to discover what was and was not possible, then take a different tack to again try to accomplish the impossible.  A good example of this was when he waited a year for a computer guy to build a new website for the Honors College without success.  Norb came to me one day and asked me to build their website.  My protestations to him that I'd never built a website before, that I knew nothing of computer language didn't even cause a blink in those twinkling eyes of his.  "Go talk to this person," he directed me, giving me the name of the web master on campus.  "I told her you're very bright and will be able to figure this out.  She'll get you started."  Then off I went to learn how to accomplish what I thought was impossible.  I refused to let his faith in me down.  I truly believed in his wisdom.  If he thought I could do this, he must know something I didn't.  True to his assertions, with a little tutoring, I did figure it out, and I created within thirty days, a new website for the Honors College, complete with graphic images, photographs, biographies, and links to information on the college, e-mail links, and documents.  I was both relieved to have successfully completed the task, and joyful that his faith in me was not misplaced.  This was the thing about Norb.  You believed in him.  You believed what he said. You felt with his faith and guidance, you were up to any challenge.
I kept in touch with Norb after moving away for law school, my first professional job, and really the rest of my life. Sometimes he’d surprise me with a phone call, or an e-mail, just because he had been thinking about me and wanted to check in to see how I was doing. He was a personal reference for me for more than one job. He was even a witness for me in court when my divorce and custody proceeding turned nasty. He was the closest thing I ever had to a father. So it was hard when the contact became more infrequent due to his health issues. It became harder to communicate with him and I lived across the country, too far away to drop in on him at home, like other former students could who remained in that town. He passed just about two months ago, and it has taken me his long to finish what I wanted to say. Though I know I’ve still left so much unsaid. I grew up so much under his tutelage. He was such a huge part of my life for seven years, and a life line for all the years that followed. The Honors College will be hosting a memorial for him in September. I will fly back to Arkansas to be a part of it, to join with that community one more time, to remember Norb, and how short our time is with some people, so appreciate those days and every moment you have with them.

Friday, May 24, 2019

Rediscovering / Discovering what slipped by me earlier


In 2009, while driving I don’t know where, I heard a song on NPR, that would play frequently over the next few weeks.  The song was called, “Run, chicken, run” by The Felice Brothers.  Run, Chicken, Run

I Loved this song!  I loved it immediately, I loved it each time it played.  I posted about this song, here on this blog back in 2009, I finally caught it! July 1, 2009

For the life of me I can’t figure out why I didn’t listen to more of their songs then, or buy some of their music.  I must not have been ready for it yet.  I believe things “speak to us” when we need them.   Well fast forward to 2019, wow, ten years later, I get an e-mail announcement from Ani DeFranco’s Babeville here in Buffalo.  It’s a small music venue in an old church.  I saw The Felice Brothers were going to be performing.  Even with the passage of ten years, I remembered immediately that these were the guys who did the chicken song.  I had to go see them.

I went with a couple from work and went in hopes they would play the chicken song. I really wanted to hear it live and dance to it, and I’m not a dancer. 🤣 Well, they never played that song, but they did play more recent songs of theirs, plus a number of songs from their newest CD, “Undress.” I was blown away! I was moved nearly to tears. Something about their music, their lyrics, moved me to the core of my creative soul. Something woke up in me that I had forgotten existed. I felt so alive for the first time in years. Their music touched something in me. I suddenly remembered what it felt like to have that energy running through me.I felt like the weight of years had been lifted from me.
Then, lead singer, Ian Felice, played some songs from his latest solo cd project. I felt like I was in the presence of musical genius. The lyrics were like abstract art that fades in and out of childhood memories and hard lessons learned. I later read musical reviews of the band, Ian, and his new album, In the Kingdom of Dreams.
The album is introspective, quiet, peaceful, and thought provoking. I have taken to playing this album while I hike because it brings such peace to me, I can’t really put it into words to do it justice. In Memorium is another great song on his cd.
These brothers, initially Simone, Ian, and James, but now Simone is off doing other projects, form a really tight musical partnership. I was moved watching James play his accordion. I definitely like a little accordion in a folk-rock band to give it a little something extra. You have to see these guys live, if only to see James play the accordion. When he plays fast, he dances, he smiles, he’s really into it, and when he plays slow, he closes his eyes and smiles as if all that is holy in this world has just delivered him to his zen spot. My admiration stooped to envy in the face of this young man’s joy and passion for what he does. I want to do something that brings that look to my face. I’ve now purchased a couple CDs of theirs, and downloaded even more of their music to my iPod. They are in constant rotation. Here are some of my favorite songs they perform: Radio Song is an uptempo sweet song. Nail it on the First Try Is a good song to see James Felice playing his accordion. And finally, Frankie’s Gun I haven’t loved a band this much in years.

For CK the book lover