Tuesday, April 14, 2015

The End of an Era is Coming Soon

An ending is coming soon for me, and as a result, I've been thinking about things from a different perspective. I have been very blessed these last ten years. I have had the best of everything, the best neighbors ever, the best job ever, and the best house ever. Recently I've been thinking about our house. I've never loved any house I've ever lived in before. I've lived many places, had many nice and modest homes, and worked on making all of them better, but until this house, our do-it-yourself kit house from 1915, I had never really loved and gotten attached to a house. I've been on-line looking at houses, and I just don't care for most of the houses I see out there. I remember when we moved into our house, it was a mess of hideous decorating choices and major repairs to be done, yet over the past ten years, we have tackled every project. I think that might be part of why I love our house so much, because we re-did every room in the house. It truly is a reflection of everything that matters to us, in making this house a home. The best compliment I ever got on our house was from a friend who house sat for us while we were out of the country a few years back. She said initially she was worried about house sitting for us, because old houses gave her the creeps. She said she woke up in the middle of the night while house sitting, got up to go to the bathroom, hesitated in the hall, listened for any creepy house sounds, and just felt this sense of peace. She said it was like the house gave her a warm hug. She felt completely at ease. Other people who have stayed with us have mentioned that too, that the house felt happy, peaceful, even when they were alone in it. I wonder if houses have feelings or can project the feelings of the lives that have lived in it. I hope we find the perfect family to live in our house, people who will continue to improve it and love it.
So, yes, we will be moving, this summer. M accepted a job in Buffalo, New York. It means massive changes for us. Both of us will be in new jobs, hunting for a new house, learning a new city, finding new doctors, a veterinarian, pet care for while we're at work, finding new friends. This might prove to be very traumatic, I mean, we are older, set in our ways, but we're going into this with high hopes and lots of energy. The thing about this move that is wonderful for me, is that I'm from New York state, and I will now be a 2 1/2 hour drive from my sister. Another hope, dear neighbors of ours here, are from Toronto, and I'm hoping on their many trips back and forth from Toronto, that they'll stop in for a visit. I worry about our dog and his girlfriend across the street, they are very bonded, I worry about how the move will affect him and not getting to see her anymore. Dogs have feelings too. It's sad to think of moving away from all the friends we made here, but I know from experience, yes, there will people we will never see again, but the truly good friends, will make an effort to come see us, and we will come back down here, but it won't be the same as having them in our lives daily. We thought about this move long and hard. Were we truly happy here, in our careers, could we be happy staying here permanently? The answer was yes and no. Yes we were happy and if nothing changed, we could be satisfied, but also, we wanted more, new challenges, a chance for career advancement, that only moving out of our comfort zone could provide. So when we started to explore the possibilities, we knew it had to be a perfect job in the perfect place, with the right money, or it wouldn't be worth leaving what we already had. M was in the running for a couple jobs, but when we looked closely at the areas, and our possible quality of life and professional development, Buffalo was the obvious choice. So M accepted today, she should have the written contract in a couple of days, then the announcement will be made campus wide, I suppose. Until then, mum is the word. I'll post more as things progress. We'll have to fly or drive up there to look at houses. I have to search for a new job. The university where M will be working is going to help me find something. We also have to consider M's parents who at some point will be coming to live with us. I think they may stay here for part of the year and with us part of the year until such time they can't live on their own any longer. So much change coming, I dread the thought of having another yard sale to clear the basement and garage, and down-sizing what we want to move with us and what we want to leave behind. The thought of leaving things, people, behind is really pulling at my heart strings. With this move, I will be leaving my children behind. Every move I've ever made since the day they were born, they were with me. I know this is part of growing up, and B has been in Taiwan since last September and somehow I survived. I won't be going to the ends of the earth. I will be a nine hour drive from them, but the thought that I cannot be a part of their daily lives, them coming home for dinner, to do laundry, etc., is a hard thing to deal with, so I might do another post later on mom leaving the nest and what all that entails. This house is the house they grew up in and spent the most time of their lives in. It might be hard for them to know they will never again come home to this house. I remember that was a weird feeling for me, when my mother sold our childhood home. Oh well, I'm feeling maudlin, so I'll stop. Wish us luck.

Tuesday, April 7, 2015

Happy Birthday Cyber Kitten

Be sure to have cake, wine, good food, great company, awesome video games, and whatever makes you happy.  

Sunday, April 5, 2015

Happy Easter

It's Easter, and I know this is very delayed, but this is the first year in 26 years that I haven't put together Easter baskets for the "kids" or put together an Easter egg hunt for them.  Since B is still in Taiwan, and Min wouldn't want to do it without him, I didn't do anything.  Min came home last night and we went for a nice dinner to celebrate Easter.  Today she'll spend the day with her dad.

Min misses her brother, I can tell because she didn't ask about baskets, or eggs, or any of the things she normally would, she just asked about her brother.  If I'd heard from him, how he's doing.  She doesn't have Skype, so it's been months since they last spoke.  I filmed them talking and laughing when we last Skyped.  I put the Skype on the big screen t.v.  It was so cute to see them catching up.  They didn't get along sometimes while growing up, but that's typical, as adults they have gotten together with each other and their friends and gone to dinners, the beach, etc.  

This year I finally feel the emptiness of the house without them.  M mentioned yesterday that the Easter bunny was coming.  I hadn't even planned to do an Easter basket for her because I knew I wasn't doing anything for the kids.  I had gotten her some candy already, so I dug a basket out of the attic and did a very simple basket for her.  This year we're taking M's parents to brunch, and I guess, finding a new way to spend Easter.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015


It's not often that a commercial will tickle my funny bone as much as this one did.  I roared with laughter.  It just struck the right chord with me.  Click on the link and enjoy!

Our Song

Friday, March 13, 2015

John Denver

I'm watching a PBS documentary about the life of John Denver, and I'm reminded of how much I loved his music.  His lyrics were so poetic, and could transport me to another place.  Even all these years later, they can still draw me back to another time.

One of my favorite Denver songs was Rocky Mountain High.  Some people would like to say this song was about smoking pot and getting high, those people didn't understand John and what moved him.  That song was inspired by watching a meteor shower while camping in the mountains of Colorado, and feeling like he was finally alive, finally living, and connecting to something greater than himself.

He experienced an epiphany in the mountains of Colorado, and tapped into something that moved his soul.  I can relate to that.  I felt that climbing in the mountains of the Pacific Northwest.  It's like coming home, finding the place you belong.

Rocky Mountain High

I miss his music and his words.  I'm sorry we lost him so young.  I'm Sorry is another of his songs that really can pull the loneliness out in me.

I'm Sorry

John was an early celebrity who used his fame to bring attention to environmental issues.  His song Calypso has me soaring over the ocean the minute I hear it.


Friday, March 6, 2015


I have had a completed screenplay sitting in my filing cabinet for almost twenty years.  When I first wrote it, I was in a screenplay class.  All the screenplays were submitted anonymously, and critiqued by the class.  My script was so consistently the one everyone liked and wanted to keep reading the updates on, that at a certain point the instructor asked me to hold off on submitting updates so other scripts would get read. 

I knew there was something good in the story idea, even if the writing wasn't as good as I would have liked.  When it was completed, I gave it to a director who was on-campus temporarily.  This director did artsy, independent films.  She said I would need to tighten up the writing, but it was definitely a blockbuster movie.

So what did I do with it?  I put it in a filing cabinet and never did anything with it.  In my defense, I was living in Arkansas and didn't know anyone in the entertainment industry or what to do with a script.  It was the only screenplay I'd ever written, and I was just happy that I'd completed anything of that length, and that I received an A for the class. 

Fast forward to now.  I was Facebook chatting with one of my oldest friends the other night, she's been involved in radio and has lots of connections with musicians, and a few people in other areas of the entertainment industry.  She is super sharp, quick-witted, and an excellent writer.  I asked her if she would be interested in editing it.  She said "sure." 

So I have released one of my babies into the world.  Maybe nothing will come of it.  I've never collaborated with anyone on my writing, but I feel like this is a good thing to do.  It's certainly better than letting it sit in a filing cabinet for another twenty years.  I wonder why I did that, just left it.  I've done that with most of my writing. 

The few times I've been published, I felt naked, exposed.  I've never had any desire whatsoever for fame.  I don't think my writing is good enough to make me famous, but some part of me didn't even want to flirt with the possibility of fame of any kind.  Maybe that's why I've never tried to get an agent or do anything with my stuff. 

That said, I've been working on a book recently.  I'm only a dozen pages into it.  I don't know if it will be completed.  I'm still trying to decide where it's going.  So far I'm just free writing, and the story is interesting, so maybe not knowing where it's going just yet is fine too. 

So that's what I've been doing lately, instead of posting on the blog like I've been thinking about. 

Sunday, March 1, 2015

March 1st and it's snowing

I've changed my header picture to acknowledge that Winter is hanging on determinedly, yet the sun represents this equally resolute Spring pushing its way in.  Here's hoping we don't get ice in today's storm and looking forward to Wednesday when it's supposed to warm up dramatically.  Now to go find some aspirin for this headache.