Monday, August 3, 2009

Food for Thought

This is a topic I've been asked about in the past and as recently as a couple of weeks ago. I came across a series of articles on the topic and thought I'd share.

I "came out" as they say, to my family and friends, when I met and got involved with my partner just before my 37th birthday. My coming out, however, was not like most people.

I wasn't one of the people who knew from a young age they were gay, or had attractions to the same sex. There's still a part of me "in denial" about being gay, because I am still not attracted to other women, just my partner.

Nope, I was always attracted to guys, boy crazy as a young girl and fell passionately in love with a number of men. I married a man and worked like hell to make that relationship work for 7 years before finally giving up.

When I met my partner, what attracted me to her was not that she was female, but rather that she was the right person for me. She had all the qualities I had been looking for in a romantic partner, my whole life. She wasn't one thing to me that was attractive, she was the total package. She had the looks, the personality, the intellect, the sense of humor, the maturity, the education, the kindness, the honesty, the basic human decency, etc. that I'd only ever found one or two of those items in any of the relationships I'd ever been in before. Luckily I had enough sense to pursue my dream partner regardless of what society would say. I haven't regretted it ever, and this is SO by far and away, THE BEST RELATIONSHIP I've ever had in my life.

I was reminded of this by a series of articles I came across on the ABC News website. Here were older women choosing female partners, some for the same reasons I did. It was the right thing for me. No hidden agendas, no secret closeted past, no anti-men attitudes (well, except for my ex-husband), but it was refreshing for me to hear other women, who have never identified as gay, discovering the same thing as me. The right person is out there for you, they just might not come in the package you always thought.

Here's a short conversation between the ladies on The View trying to make sense of this.The View Clip

ABC News Story on Kelly McGillis and other celebrities.

ABC Story on the "Gayby Boom" a Gay version of the Baby Boom.

4 comments:

tweetey30 said...

This may sound weird but I have asked my sil why there mother had five children and then after there father left Meaning the childrens father left why she decided to be with another woman instead of finding a good natured man. My SIL told me that my MIL had always been gay and just couldnt come out until recently. It was the era she grew up in I guess. I dont get the excuse but ok if she says so. Anyway I am glad to hear you are happy. That is all that counts in a relationship. Right???? Take care and I hope you two grow old and gray together and are able to see that love lasts for long decades..

PENolan said...

Good for both of you.
Great post on a timely, intriguing topic.

tshsmom said...

BRAVO!!
What a thoughtful, well-written post!
Your words convey all the love and respect you have for M. I hope you two are together forever!

CyberKitten said...

I'm a believer in that you fall in love with people - not the gender they just happen to belong to. We all have preferences but some people can see beyond gender and fall in love with personalities.

I'm glad you found the right person for you. The very best of luck to you both!

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