So the darn cat woke me up to go outside at 1:30 a.m., and then I couldn't get back to sleep afterward. I'm running on less than 2 hours sleep right now. While lying in bed awake for hours, holding out hope that I might actually fall back asleep, I started my usual train of thought, things I have to do, things I'd like to do, things I used to do, and hey, why don't I do that anymore. One of the things I don't do anymore is write poetry. I've written literally thousands of poems and then just stopped. Probably because I had to produce so much crap just to get the occasional piece that was okay. Anyway, much like my early morning thoughts, I digress.
My mind started worrying about my daughter, who may be planning to move to Florida, and how she'll be so far away, and I won't be close enough to help her, save her if she needs saving. Then worrying what I would ever do if I lost one of my children. Then thinking about life after death, and remembering a brief conversation M and I had a couple weeks back after her 101 year old grandmother died. (I told you my thoughts were rambling.)
I said to her that I didn't really worry about where we go when we die. I figured we just went back to where we were before we were born. That got me thinking some more (not then, but at 2 a.m. today) that maybe we're asking the wrong question when we ask what happens after we die.
This whole scientific theory that matter can neither be created nor destroyed, it only changes form is mentioned a lot by people when they discuss death. We know we have physical bodies and if buried, they break down and go back into the earth to become parts of other organisms. We believe there is an electro-magnetic charge that is our soul and that it must go somewhere or become something else.
Why don't we wonder where our children came from, where we came from? If matter is neither created nor destroyed, it only changes form, we can see on a cellular level how the egg is fertilized and uses nutrients from the mother to gather form and turn into a baby. We haven't yet figured out where that electromagnetic charge comes from that sparks those cells into living. Where was that soul energy before it took up residence in that human baby?
We don't tend to think about life before life, yet we dwell on life after death. Is that odd? Yeah, I think our souls are out there, part of the greater universe, the energy of the cosmos, a creation of a God of some sort, and we come into these bodies for a short time, then return from whence we came. These are just some of the many thoughts that keep me awake when I should be sleeping.