Monday, January 26, 2009

Vanity, Thy Name Is Woman

So, I've always been a blonde, in some variation or another, my whole life. I was born a white blonde. My mother had blonde hair and green eyes, and my father had blonde hair and blue eyes. So it was no surprise that I turned out blonde. I had that soft, baby white blonde characteristic of my Scandinavian heritage. *Sigh* . . . but it didn't last long.





I went the way of many blondes, those whose DNA also carries grandparents with darker hair. So very quickly my hair began revealing golden tones.












Oh, it was still very pretty and pale and I was unmistakably blonde. But the tide was already turning, and the only time my hair would go lighter was in the summer or years later with a little help from Miss Clairol.










By 10, my hair was a medium blonde, still heading darker. In this picture it almost looks as if my hair color was headed toward brown. I've discovered that going darker for a lot of blondes is traumatic. Who else's hair color, besides blondes, can continuously change, year after year, until eventually, you don't look like the person you've always known yourself to be?





By 13, the golden shine was still there, but it was almost completely overrun by that dark, dull, drab haircolor known as "dishwater" blonde. A muddy, dull mass with no life, no spark, and perfectly timed with the insecurities of puberty.









Well, I survived puberty and with the help of Miss Clairol, by 22 I was returning to the color of my youth. I felt alive again, energized, whole. I know it's vain, but I grew up seeing myself with light colored hair surrounding my face. To be confronted with the dark truth was too much to bear.







So throughout my 20s and 30s, Miss Clairol and I were bestest friends. We kept in constant touch and as long as the light shined in my hair, I felt young and strong, able to conquer anything.











On the rare occasions I would color my hair a darker blonde or a red of some sort to allow my natural color to grow out and see what it actually looked like without having obvious roots. I did this during the pregnancies of both my children (didn't want any extra chemicals in or on my body) and again while returning to college. As a returning college student, single mom and full-time worker, Miss Clairol and I didn't have time for regular meetings anymore.

So for a couple of years I hung out with my natural haircolor, sometimes helped with an occasional red or the summer sun. I was in my earth mother stage and low maintenance was a necessity.










But as I got school behind me and my kids were getting older, Miss Clairol and I hooked up again, probably trying to regain some of that youthful feeling.












So for the next 10 years (35-45) I basically stuck with my light blonde. In the winters I would go a shade or two darker and I was okay with that. But then something happened, sometime in my early 40s I noticed I was going light blonde again, all on my own, but only at the temples. It was very pale, very soft and reminded me of baby's hair. *Greatful sigh* I was not only going blonde, I was going platinum blonde! God is good. Then, a few years later (tonight) while blow-drying my hair, I noticed shiny hairs sprouting up on the top of my head and literally bursting out all over. I looked closely because I didn't want to mistake them for gray. No, they weren't wiry and they weren't dark, but they also were not the baby platinum blonde of my temples. Hmmm, I thought to myself, what could these mysterious new hairs be? They're all over the top of my head and they shine like crazy in the light. Then I figured it out, they were angel hairs! I was growing my very own halo! I was so excited and went to show M. She suggested I not mention this to anyone because they might become jealous, but I just knew you guys wouldn't get jealous. Are any of you sprouting angel hairs? I know M thinks I'm in denial and that they're gray hairs, but honestly, I'm really going blonde again, and now it's popping up all over my head. ;-)

30 comments:

tweetey30 said...

Dont feel bad about going gray VV.. Jeff is only going to be 32 in April and he had more grey hair than blonde too.. LOL.. You can see it esp after a very busy day at work for him.

Vancouver Voyeur said...

Ahem, I think you've mistaken my post. I am sprouting angel hairs *stomping foot* and preparing to have my first halo. There are no gray hairs on my head! ;-)

Anonymous said...

Ok, M I do think K is in denial, maybe it works for her. A halo? she is really kidding right. Now as a Brown haired person, with lots of red highlights, girls my age get their hair frosted. What did you think.
Am so chuckling out loud, my cube mates think am wacky.
Angel Hair, is that not something that is placed under a interior nativity, at christmas time, made of fiber glass or a cotton blend, to look like a soft cloud. Am still trying to see these Angel Hairs in my mind. p

maeve said...

VV
ANGEL HAIRS!!!!??? WELL Missy, I AM WELL PAST 40 AND I have yet to see one on this old head!! I however can tell you about the "angel hairs" that come after "men-o-puase" not on my head but on my chin!!! I have made my kids promise, when they send me to a nursing home that they will pluck my "angel hairs!!!" AND speaking of MENopause, why do womans ailments start MEN ... MENsrual cramps, MENtal breakdown, MENopause, GUYnecologist, HISterectomy (???????) MAYBE a future blog!! hahahahaha

maeve said...

FORGOT!!! NICE PICS!!

OldOldLady Of The Hills said...

LOL, LOL....I love your description of 'Angel Hairs'....And why not! Perhaps your Hair Color as a baby was really Angel Hairs, too...?
Anyway....I hope you keep us updated on the progress of these Angel Hairs.....A picture or two, maybe?

My own hair has some Angel Hairs, too....Not as much as I might have had at this age, I might ad---I still basically look like I have Dark Brown hair with a little bit of Angel....And I think it is The gene's...Though I am the only one of my siblings who's hair is STILL pretty much Brown at the age I am now---they are or were all "Angel Haired" waaaaay before my age now....The Luck Of The Draw, I guess....I'll be 78 in June.

Larena said...

I love the term (and just so you know I am stealing it) miss clairol is to expensive any more!
Love all the photos. you like taking me back don't you....
love the toad suck shirt...L

tshsmom said...

LMAO! Like Maeve, I thought you would say those hairs were on your chin. That's where the wiriest hairs grow nowadays. :(

I like the halo idea(I've had one for several years now), but I don't think my family would buy that idea either. ;)

Anonymous said...

Angel hairs? Is that the term we are going with? Ok, if that keeps peace around the house, I'll go along with it. I mean, to me it just looks like a bunch of gray hair, but I would never say anything like that out loud. I might type it, but I wouldn't say it.

M

Vancouver Voyeur said...

L, feel free to use "angel hairs" anytime you like. It sounds so much nicer, don't you think?

Tshsmom, wouldn't it be a nicer world to age into if everyone grew halos instead of going gray?

M, you're walking on thin ice. I will only say this once, so make sure it sticks. They are _not_ gray hairs, they are not gray, they are not dark, they are not wiry. They are white and shiny, just like a halo, therefore, they are angel hairs. Implying/typing that they might be gray hairs is a very serious afront, I think you owe me two German Shepherd puppies to make up for it.

Anonymous said...

You were a very cute kid! (Not that you aren't cute now.) I was very blonde for about 5 years. Nobody would know it now.

Anonymous said...

If we had 2 puppies, I would have nothing but "angel hairs."

M

Vancouver Voyeur said...

Anonymous 7:41, is that you Julie?

M, if you gave me 2 puppies I'd find a way to make up for your angel hairs. :-)

tshsmom said...

Do I hear a bid for ONE puppy?...M?...K?...

Vancouver Voyeur said...

Tshsmom, always go high so when they talk you down, you get what you always wanted anyway. Hmmm, wait a minute, I did want 2, she talked me down to one, okay, the new price to make up for the afront to my claim of angel hairs is FOUR, count them, 4 puppies - German Shepherd puppies.

That girl said...

This is probably one of my favorite posts you've written, it's not even so much what you wrote, but to see the transformation from babyhood to now is incredible...what a journey.

I don't know how I missed this post yesterday *scratching head*

tshsmom said...

VV, you can't raise your bid after you've been called on your original bid. What kind of poker player are you? *giggle*

As chief mediator, I rule that M has agreed to one German Shepherd puppy joining your household. If truth be told, you REALLY don't want to housebreak, train, and pay vet bills on more than one puppy, do you? ;)

Vancouver Voyeur said...

Tshsmom, no fair using reason,logic or finances in making your argument. Now how do I delete your comment before M sees it?

Anonymous said...

Yay Tshsmom! Too late, Karen, I read it. We are down to one German shepherd puppy. Now I can start talking you down until we end up with a couple of goldfish!

M

Vancouver Voyeur said...

I believe every time you try to talk me down, I should be allowed to go up one more puppy. Haven't I given you nearly 9 puppy-free years? Haven't I sacrificed enough yet? You know, you do have your very own band room. None of your buddies have that. And what *sniff, sniff* do I have?

Anonymous said...

Me?

Vancouver Voyeur said...

Oh! Unfair! You have me too! That zeroes out, you still have a band room, so....???

Anonymous said...

Has anyone else noticed that a post all about "angel hairs" has morphed into a discussion about a dog? You know, they say that once "angel hairs" start sprouting up, memory goes next.

Vancouver Voyeur said...

You're evading the question.

Anonymous said...

You win. 4 guppies.

tshsmom said...

I do believe that M misspelled puppies. *smirk*

Just in case you really meant guppies(which I doubt), those 4 guppies will wind up costing you almost what 1 puppy would cost.

To start, you'll need an aquarium, undergravel filter, gravel, hood, de-chlorinating drops, siphon, net, food, ich drops(don't ask), algae scraper, and an algae-eating fish is a good idea. You may have to give up your band room to house the guppies and their accessories. Someone will have to do a partial water change on the tank every week, and feed and supervise the fish every day. For all the work you put into the damned fish, they NEVER cuddle up to you or show their appreciation. Fish are lousy companions!

I won't go into the advantages a puppy will offer you, as I'm sure K has already adequately handled this angle.

I'd be willing to bet that within a week you will be head over heels in love, with a furry, loving, comical puppy. This love will only grow in the coming years as the puppy becomes an integral member of your family.

Any takers on the bid of 1 cuddly, loving, faithful PUPPY?

Anonymous said...

Darn it, tshsmom, here I thought you were on my side! At least guppies would make fine survival food, in a little lemon butter sauce.

M

Vancouver Voyeur said...

Oh that is so wrong! Tasty, I'm sure, but wrong!

tshsmom said...

M, I AM on your side! I'm just trying to convert you to the dog side. ;)

Fileting guppies is very difficult.

K, so when are you getting the puppy?

Vancouver Voyeur said...

Tshsmom, probably after the very tall fence goes up this summer. Unless some perfect dog comes along before then. My last dog could jump and climb quite high. I made the mistake of letting M know that. In his defense, he didn't leave the yard very often, maybe 3 or so times (in 13 years)to go play in the park and once during a storm. In my defense, he was indoors during the storm and I didn't know he got out a window so therefore, I didn't know he jumped the fence...and went to the hospital, terrorizing people, not letting an armed cop near him. He was just scared to death because of the thunder. The animal control guy came in, assessed the situation, rattled a leash and my dog went running to him like he was a savior. You just have to understand the mindset of a dog. Also, the cop didn't know my dog hated guns. He'd been shot at as a puppy because his original owner let him run wild around farms and ranches and the owners of those places didn't want stray dogs scaring the livestock, so they would shoot them on sight. Okay, more than you needed to know. Anyway, big fence coming.

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