Friday, January 23, 2009
Where did this week go? No, seriously, where did it go? It went so freakishly fast for me I'm concerned I may have gotten caught up in a time warp or something.
Anyway, here are some things that made me laugh this week that I thought I'd share:
JOKES (Courtesy of Comedy Central's Joke of the Day e-mail)
A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient.
"Sir," the usher said, "if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly.
"All right, buddy. What's your name?"
"Sam," the man moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?" the cop asked.
An elderly lady phoned her telephone company to report that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions when it did ring, her pet dog always moaned right before the phone rang. The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady.
He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house. The phone didn't ring right away, but then the dog moaned loudly and the telephone began to ring.
Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:
1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire
via a steel chain and collar.
2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.
3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current
when the phone number was called.
4. After a couple of such jolts, the dog would start moaning
and then urinate on himself and the ground.
5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to ring.
Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.
And we can't let a Friday go by without some music to make you feel good, so, this video will either make you feel good from the music, or from laughter watching the chick with the long hair fling it all over at the beginning of the video. Have a great weekend!
Oops! I almost forgot. Click Here. to go to the funniest "Best Man" speech I've ever heard / seen. Wait for it, trust me, listen to him and wait for it. Thanks to Marilyn Maeve's Madness for sending me the video.
Chad Knight digital art - https://creators.vice.com/en_us/article/bmya9m/chad-knight-digital-art
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